social

Caring For an Aging Parent

September 2, 2011

Wherever your parent is living, prominently display framed photographs of him or her in younger days. Exhibit the parent looking glamorous, receiving professional recognition and achieving success in sporting events.

 
Read More...

September 2, 2010

Anyone out there taking care of an elderly parent? My mom lives an hour away from me. I spend 4-5 days a week staying at her home taking care of her, the house, the yard, etc. She is 87 and in poor health. She seems to have the beginnings of dementia and her legs are swollen from edema. Her diet is horrible. Well, she will eat what I make, but only drinks coffee.

Advertisement

My sister comes when she can, but she lives 2 and 1/2 hours away and works, too. I was the one that was always here, then when my dad passed away 7 years ago I started staying with her every other week for 3 days or so. I was here to shop, eat out, and talk.

She started with slight incontinence about 4 years ago and hasn't been out since. She will not see a doctor. She hasn't since I was a teen and I am now 58. She can barely stand and walking is getting harder and harder for her. She'll use a cane, but not the walker I got her. I can't remember the last time she showered. I got a shower chair, but still no shower. She barely even washes up anymore. I am at my wits end.

She spends most of the day and night in a chair. Getting her into bed, to get her off her buttocks, is a constant struggle. She falls asleep and tips out of the chair. She sometimes falls when walking. God is on her side because she hasn't broken anything yet.

Advertisement

If anyone has had similar experiences, please write. I feel so alone. My poor husband is getting upset. He just can't understand why I can't just tell her she has to move in with us. She will not accept outside help. If I could get her to accept an aide once in awhile, it would help so much. Please contact me through Thriftyfun. You can click on my name and an email message window will open.

I have found a few message boards, but everyone there seems to think they are doctors with the advice they give. Or just plain mean. She's my mother, I still must treat her like my mother and not some child off the street. I love her, but I am so stressed out. I have my own health problems, too. Please help if you can. Regards.

By valery from Cranford, NJ

Answers


Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 791 Feedbacks
April 21, 20091 found this helpful

Check and see if there is a Senior Center in your area. If so, take him and leave him there while you do something for yourself. Barring that, see if you can get somebody to relieve you every now and then - maybe, a church member or a neighbor.

Advertisement

Having taken care of my Mother prior to her having to go into a nursing home (Alzheimer's), I know exactly where you're coming from! God bless you for taking care of your father, but do remember to take care of yourself, also!

 

Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 102 Feedbacks
April 21, 20090 found this helpful

Here in Canada, our health care system has "home care workers" who come to your home to help you. They bathe the patient, tidy their living space, prepare meals, and provide respite services, so the main care giver can go out for a while. Check with your doctor to see if you have this service available in your area. It's free here.

 

Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 109 Feedbacks
September 2, 20100 found this helpful

I wish I could help but I have no words of encouragement or suggestions other than keep trying.

She probably hasn't tried to take a shower because she can't. Have you tried to talk her into letting you help her get cleaned up? If not in the shower how about a sponge bath?

Advertisement

Does she have any elderly friends who are now alone as well? Maybe one would be interested in moving in with her. Cut down on the persons expenses in exchange for helping her daily.

Sorry, can't think of anything else that might help. The only other thing I can think of is if she won't move in with you... move in with her. Sell your house and you and your husband live in hers.

 
September 3, 20100 found this helpful

I did a search on the US Government website and found this link. It is specifically designed for long-distance caregivers: www.cfad.org/

 
Read More Answers

September 1, 2011

I do not regret one moment of moving my mom in with me and having her last few years with me. I agree some times were very hard dealing with her Alzheimer's disease, however, family and friends can give you the breaks you need.

Read More...

September 2, 2011

I took care of my mother until she passed on and now I have the privilege of helping my father. My parents were always of the mindset to be prepared and it rubbed off on me, I suppose.

Advertisement

They always took such good care of us growing up, so for me it was a no-brainer to take care of them.

 
Read More...

September 13, 2011

My mother lives in our home and has several health issues. I ask friends or relatives to call and chat with her. This helps her feel valuable. At the same time it allows others to check on her status several times a day, while I am at work.

 
Read More...

November 14, 2008

What are some things I can do to help my elderly patents? I have rearranged their kitchen to make it easier.

I take them to all their appointments. Does anyone have any other helpful ideas? Thanks.

Answers


Bronze Post Medal for All Time! 104 Posts
November 14, 20080 found this helpful

All you can do is offer your assistance and be there for them. I'm sure you are already doing that for them and they appreciate you for that. I know when my father-in-law comes home from a hospital stay they've always said to be sure to remove rugs.

Advertisement

It may prevent them from falling. Install handles around the tubs and where there are steps. Help with meals. Everything counts, even the small things.

 
Read More Answers

November 5, 2008

This is a random question for this website, but I'm starting to get a bit desperate. My elderly mother has had her license revoked, but refuses to stop driving. (She's prone to strokes, disorientation, has severe mobility problems, and horrible reflexes). We'd take her car away, but she lives alone and not having a car there would make the house look abandoned. She refuses to move to assisted living.



We also need to be able to use the car when either of my siblings or I come to check in on her (she's more comfortable getting in and out of her car than ours). We've tried taking the keys, and she had the dealership come out to make copies. We've tried disconnecting the battery, and she called AAA. She lies to anyone who is willing to help her get the car running.

We're afraid she's going to kill someone, or herself. In short, we need to disable the car for her but not for us. Has anyone else had this kind of problem, and how on earth did you work with it? Thanks for any advice.

Beth

Answers

November 5, 20080 found this helpful

Hi there. I really feel for you. I heard a story from a guy who has a towing company that there was a disabled car he needed to tow and when he got there he found a car with no back wheels and when he asked the family what happened he was told that they removed the wheels and left the car on blocks but that their mom decided to drive anyway so she drove the car off the blocks and drove the car to go where she wanted. Kinda funny. They are so used to their lives that sometimes they can't be stopped. Would it be an option to have someone stay with her when you and your family cannot be there or contact the dealer and AAA to let them know NOT to fix the car?

 
Read More Answers

April 9, 2008

I could use some advice as I don't know where to start. My parents are aging and live in a different state. My mother has cancer and my father is showing signs of dementia (and is extremely difficult). I'm in contact with my mother frequently, but she refuses to admit she needs help. When I go to visit them I wind up in tears on the flight home because I feel so helpless. Can anyone recommend a website or reference book to help with aging parents?



I know this is becoming an issue for many other baby boomers. I've approached the conversation about finances and their wishes, but I get yes and no answers for a variety of reasons. Their not eating well, the house is dirty, I'm not sure my mother is bathing herself.. my father forgets what he did 5 minutes ago.. and the list goes on. Anyone who has suggestions or ideas. My family would really appreciate some guidance. Thank you.

Maggie from VA

Answers

April 9, 20080 found this helpful

You could try to find a community based home health agency in their area, maybe start with the local Health Department, or a local hospital, they should be able to quide you, there are often various programs for seniors that need help staying in their own homes.

 

Bronze Feedback Medal for All Time! 168 Feedbacks
April 9, 20080 found this helpful

It appears that your parents need 24 hour care/supervision.
I would advise you to check the cost for nursing home care against inhome care. Either way it is going to be expensive. Don't ever turn their house or valuables over to a nursing home. Appoint someone in the family to be the executor of their estate and pay monthly for their care if you choose this method.

If you decide to try the inhome care, the Senior Citizens Center has Meals on Wheels in our town which provides one healthy meal a day and nursing homes usually have an inhome assistant to help with bathing, light household chores and there are some restrictions as to what they can do to help your parents stay in their home. They also work a few hours in the day, so many times a week.

You would need to hire several people to do inhome care if you have them stay 24-7 to give time off and decide if you pay them part time, then step up the amount of people you hire.

You could also hire a responsible person (check their credentials well) to live in their home and provide the help your parents need. Working through an agency if someone cannot make it that day to your parents home, there's usually a replacement for them, so they still get the care they need and you want for them.

Since your mother has cancer, have you spoke with anyone from the hospice program or the hospital? They could direct you toward right places to get further suggestions.

If you are not able to care for your parents yourself which helps to save some larger expenses, perhaps you and your family members could divide time in the year equally to keep your parents together and have them move in with you or you go there for when your time comes around.
Your parents would feel safer having family members do the care more than strangers in their home. This is a lot of adjusting.

This is a very hard time for you and I really feel for all your concerns. I've had elderly friends and worked in a nursing home setting a lot of years and I know what you are up against. It's hard to let go of home and having things the way they always were. My best to you.

 

Silver Post Medal for All Time! 255 Posts
April 9, 20080 found this helpful

Another idea is to find someone to live with them rent free in exchange for some care. Is there a nursing program near you? a student nurse would be a good choice. She would be there at night, when dementia often peaks. Check with meals on wheels and also te local division of aging, or a social worker from the nearest hospital.

 
Read More Answers


Diamond Post Medal for All Time! 1,246 Posts
March 17, 2016

My father had me at a rather old age and has recently been showing strong signs of dementia. I know it's been very difficult for my mother as she is his only caretaker and I live far away. I have asked her sisters in Japan to take her in for a bit to help her reset, so I'm now taking care of him, and plan to live in both cities when Mum returns. Does anyone know of any good resources for help that don't cost a lot, or are maybe even free?

Are there any good websites to help him engage in games to help his memory? I know my questions are a bit vague, but this is a new thing for me. I feel like I always have an answer for everything, but this is a new world! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Read More Answers
<< First< PreviousNext >
Categories
Better Living Family Elderly Parent CareAugust 29, 2011
Pages
More
👒
Mother's Day Ideas!
🐰
Easter Ideas!
🌻
Gardening
Facebook
Pinterest
YouTube
Instagram
Categories
Better LivingBudget & FinanceBusiness and LegalComputersConsumer AdviceCoronavirusCraftsEducationEntertainmentFood and RecipesHealth & BeautyHolidays and PartiesHome and GardenMake Your OwnOrganizingParentingPetsPhotosTravel and RecreationWeddings
Published by ThriftyFun.
Desktop Page | View Mobile
Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Contact Us
Generated 2024-03-28 02:43:44 in 6 secs. ⛅️️
© 1997-2024 by Cumuli, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
https://www.thriftyfun.com/tf88692149.tip.html