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March 3, 20121 found this helpful

Jodi, your story sounds quite a bit like me writing 20 years ago. I left home with a 14 year old Daughter and a 16 year old son and a dog to a one bedroom apartment, working part time at $8.00 a hour. Thinking back my leaving wasn't the smartest thing to do, but it was easier than getting him out since I talked him into leaving prior.

Once I let him back in thinking he'd change, he vowed he'd never leave again. Of course, he never changed. I was told "I won't give you a dime unless or until a judge tells me I have to". Finally after getting a divorce the judge told him he had to.

I had very little when I left other than money from the part-time-job". I had no family or friends to take me in either. I've never been happier and "No" it didn't take me 20 years to find that happiness. I've never remarried, never wanted to and I've taken pretty darned good care of myself financially although he told me I never could.

I used to think I was weak because he told me so and I cried most days. I get angry when I hear people say "why don't you just leave". It's not easy when you're beaten down, lost all your self confidence, and are told you're lazy and can't take care of yourself. Divorce is not for the weak, it makes most of us strong. If you're like me and a lot of others in your situation you won't have the courage to leave until you gain some self confidence.

For me that was my interactions with people at my part time job where I was treated with respect. My only regret is that I stayed way to long and the impact on my kids. I hope you find a way and my prayers are with you.

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